If you work with words long enough, you can tell an awful lot from
what is being written. Even more interesting, at times, is what is not
being written. Sometimes a part-time writer doesn't even realize that they may
be telling more of a story than they had intended. Such is the case in a recent
article written by Attorney Allen Gary Palmer for The Connecticut Law
Tribune. Palmer serves as the newest head of the Connecticut Bar
Association's Family Law Section and attempts to deflect attention from where
it is most needed – the members of the bar itself.
Perhaps it’s only fitting that Palmer chose the headline, “It’s
Time to Reset the System,” for his article which was published on January 20,
2015, and sought to blame outspoken parents for the turmoil being experienced
by family law practitioners. The sub-head noted, “Disgruntled litigants have
shifted family law focus away from children.” He even starts the article by
stating, “This article should make anyone reading it feel uncomfortable.” Well,
his 1,713 word article certainly lived up to its billing, but not for the
reason he may have thought.
For a moment, let’s look at the word “system” used in his
headline. Popular synonyms include the following words – scheme, organization,
arrangement, and others. There is little doubt that some in Connecticut ’s divorce industry are operating
a scheme. Until somewhat recently, a well-camouflaged organization
within our family courts, complete with a host of special arrangements highly
customizable to maximize sustained profitability, at the expense of unwitting
clients. Palmer and others can talk all they want, write all they want, and
posture all they want, but it won’t change the facts. For decades in the once
great state of Connecticut (and elsewhere in the United States), a dishonest
minority of attorneys, judges, guardians, therapists, and others have been
feeding off unsuspecting families at one of the most vulnerable times in their
life.
Few, if any, would argue that separation or divorce present
difficult decisions, even in the most amicable of circumstances. Add children
to the equation and the magnitude of the situation grows exponentially worse.
Divorce represents so many things – failure, unfulfilled dreams, life plans
gone awry, escape, upheaval, relief, and more. For those emotionally broken
women and men, many also mothers and fathers, it is a very vulnerable time.
Certainly there are many skilled and compassionate professionals serving
individuals and families in need, including minor children. The evidence,
however, cannot be ignored that far too many unscrupulous impostors are
parading around in plain sight, pretending to serve the interests of clients,
but more closely modeling their secret actions after Brutus and Judas, two of
the most infamous betrayers in history.
Palmer is just the latest from a group of pathetic, feeble-minded
foot soldiers seeking to blame victimized parents who have somehow summoned the
strength and courage to come forward and tell their story, in spite of the pain
and embarrassment. Palmer and others seem to think that labeling these parents
as ‘disgruntled litigants’ will somehow shame them into silence so the ‘system’
can continue churning through the next generation of failed relationships,
stripping the parents of home equity and retirement savings, and siphoning off
whatever college savings or other assets were earmarked for the children’s
future. It’s unlikely that Palmer and his cronies would refer to the relatively
small percentage of rape victims who come forward publicly as ‘disgruntled.’ Or
those brave parents from Sandy Hook who chose
to step forward and advocate for change in the midst of unimaginable pain –
would he classify them as ‘disgruntled’ too?
It’s an awfully inflammatory word – disgruntled. Sounds serious,
but look it up and you’ll find that it’s simply an adjective that means ‘angry
or dissatisfied.’ There is no doubt that many of the parents I have
interviewed in Connecticut
during the last year are both angry and dissatisfied. I can’t say I blame them.
They expected better from their attorneys, better from their counselors, better
from court appointed guardians, and better from the judges and the court
itself. In fact, a few mothers and fathers even admitted expecting better from their
former partner and themselves, but noted the emotional drain and pain of
watching their children suffer was too much to bear. Sure, it’s easy for Palmer
and others to try and shift the blame and attention to “50 or so of the most
vocally dissatisfied customers,” but what is really happening is a group of
disgruntled attorneys – yes, disgruntled – as in angry and dissatisfied
attorneys, are scrambling like drunks at last call trying to figure out how and
where they will possibly make their living if the “system” they designed and
refined is finally found out and dismantled, one statute at a time. The
deception feeding the bottom line in Connecticut ’s
thriving divorce industry is so extensive; it would make Bernie Madoff’s infamous
Ponzi scheme look like a fifth-grade school project.
Palmer and the family law section can try to blame parents, but
consider this – most parents go through the divorce process once. A much
smaller number, twice perhaps. The attorneys, guardians, counselors, clerks,
and judges on the other hand see dozens of cases each day. These are skilled,
highly educated people. It is simply not credible to think that these
experienced professionals cannot spot a pattern over time and employ skills,
tactics, and strategies to resolve conflict, secure discovery, minimize
litigation, and preserve assets. That would certainly be ‘in the best interest
of the children,’ but how would that help fund the machine? The system
that Palmer said needed to be reset, should instead be dissected to see what is
really inside. Greater transparency might also be a great place to start. The
Statewide Grievance Committee and Judicial Review Council both operate in
relative secrecy, in spite of their claims and meaningless published reports.
How many valid complaints have been buried by industry-insiders sitting on
these reviewing panels? If they have nothing to hide, then publish all
complaints and let the public decide which attorneys and judges are earning
more ‘frequent flyer miles’ than others.
Perhaps one of the biggest problems facing Palmer and others is in
the mirror each morning, but they just refuse to acknowledge it. The next time
the family law section gathers for a meeting, it should pause for a moment of
silence. It should encourage all members to reflect on the three hard-earned
letters that appear after their name. Letters that once stood for something
noble. Then, a brief moment to think about past clients and how, perhaps, they
could have served those clients better, even if it meant making a little less
money. Lastly, each member should think about themselves, because if they don’t
wake up fast, they will realize those three letters describe their dwindling
base of prospective clients – an ever smaller quantity, or
esq.